The Most Dangerous Phase of Burnout

After reflecting on Ian’s story, it became clear that the warning signs deserve more attention. Burnout rarely arrives without notice; it builds quietly, often in ways that are easy to dismiss or joke about. The aim of this piece is to help you recognise those early signals and, if you’re already feeling the weight of it, begin finding your way out of a situation that can be incredibly destructive if left unchecked. If you haven’t already, I recommend listening to Ian’s story before reading on; it provides important context for what follows.

I’ve never seen burnout arrive by surprise.

You notice it the same way you start to notice the flu, with the headache, the runny nose, and the exhaustion. At first, it’s subtle. You start feeling tired, unmotivated, and cynical. You don’t perform as well as you used to. It doesn’t all hit at once. It happens bit by bit.

While burnout can feel sudden once it’s in full force, it’s actually the result of long-term, accumulated stress. Like a small leak you ignore until one day your bathroom floods.

It feels invisible because you shrug it off.

“It’s just work stress.”

“It’ll pass.”

And given the hustle culture we live in, that response makes sense. Stress is rewarded. Overtime is praised as dedication. The “yes” person is celebrated for loyalty. Taking on more work is framed as competence.

But without boundaries, those traits become small stressors piling on top of each other. Once that becomes your new normal, the push-through mentality kicks in. You stop noticing how exhausted you are because you’re being externally validated. It’s a vicious cycle and an easy one to get pulled into.

“I’m so tired I put my shirt on back to front this morning.”

“I’m so tired I forgot to pack lunch.”

“I’m so tired I put my shoes on the wrong feet.”

Humour as deflection is a big warning sign that someone is teetering on the edge. What makes it worse is when comparison silences concern.

If you see Billy at the gym at 4 am, doing overtime at work, going for a run after, and filling his weekends with social activities, it’s easy to think you’re not doing enough. But Billy isn’t you. You’re not in the same position. You’re not living the same life.

Comparison isn’t a reason to dismiss your exhaustion. It’s not an invitation to ignore your own well-being.

The deepest trap of all is when endurance becomes your personality, when survival mode becomes “who you are”. If that’s the case, I can almost guarantee, because I’ve seen it time and time again, that the people around you are feeling it too.

You’re not who you once were. You’re not showing up as your best self for your friends or your family. You’re constantly exhausted, unable to hold a conversation unless it’s about work, and slowly becoming a shell of yourself.

That’s not fair to you or to the people who care about you.

“This is just who I am now” is often just an excuse for the stress you’re carrying.

The only way out of this is to recognise what’s happening: you’re burnt out. That recognition is non-negotiable. If this continues unchecked, you’re putting yourself at risk of serious physical and mental health issues.

Seeing burnout for what it is restores control.

If you’re starting to come to terms with the fact that you might be burnt out, here are some reflections to sit with. They won’t fix everything, but they will shine a light on what’s going on and help you understand the root of it so you can start improving things bit by bit.

• What feels normal now that didn’t used to?

• What am I brushing off too quickly?

• What part of me is tired of coping?

Burnout doesn’t mean you’ve failed, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means something in your life or work is no longer sustainable, and that deserves your attention, not your judgment. You don’t need to fix everything at once, and you don’t need to have all the answers right now. But you do need to stop ignoring the signals. Awareness is the first act of responsibility, and it’s also the moment you regain choice. Once you can see what’s happening, you’re no longer stuck reacting; you can start responding in a way that actually protects you.